Jake.
Why he wears only one sock at home is beyond me???
He keeps me on my toes.
He is my lover and my fighter.
His wheels are always turning.
Out of his mouth lately.....
The only thing worse than cancer is the black pledge.
I want to have something that makes my tongue burst.
I made a club in school called the British/Baby club.
A girl in class threw-up today, I prayed for her on the bus.
I'm not going the routine way in naming my Build-a-Bear, I'm going with Easter.
The substitute said I had self-control issues.
I actually care about stuff. If feel bad for my pants if I don't wear them.
You know our hair doesn't stick up because it's dead. I think African American people have alive hair.
If you go to the dessert you will get fleas. Only a 1% chance you will get fleas. The fleas are in the sand and leaves mostly.
A banana is like living because it gets bruised.
It would be cool if Brett was in a limo with the president going to a disco.
I'm Jake from State Farm and I chase girls at recess.
Brett said I can't name my kid Wax.
Are you death?...deaf.
